When I was pregnant with my third, after having two boys, I was deeply sure it was going to be a girl. I don’t know why. I just did. My mother was in another state on vacation when I went into labor. She waited anxiously with a pink outfit in her hand because she had a hunch, too. Unlike what is popular now, we wanted the words “It’s a girl!” to be a surprise to us when we first heard them.
I wasn’t desperate for a girl. In fact, part of raising a girl scared me a little because as a school counselor I have sat with many brooding girls with arms crossed claiming, “She’s not my friend anymore!” The world of girls is complicated.
When the doctor lifted up my baby to see and said, “It’s a boy!” I remember not feeling one ounce of disappointment. I took one look at my third boy and thought, “Oh, it’s you. It’s always been you!” Through this pregnancy, I have always been in love with you.” The pink was put away without the least little disappointment.
Now, I do recall the teasing of the older brothers, when boy number three was older. I can still hear them saying, “Mom, I wish we had a sister. Oh wait, we do!” They would point at their youngest brother, and another brotherly battle made the house shake once more.
No I have no regrets being the mom of all boys.
However, every once in a while, I will spend time with a girl with whom I will form a bond, and get a hint of what it would be like to have a girl. Mostly, they are the girls of my good friends. There are many — Erin, Grace, Hannah, Lauren, Rachie, and many, many others. It’s funny, instead of feeling regret, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to be a part of their lives….. and a little sense of relief that I do not have the girl drama and wedding expense! Just kidding.
I was with a little 5 year old girl that touched my heart in this way again today. Her name is Sophia. Her mom and I talked for a long time at Starbucks while she waited patiently. When we parted, she hugged me and said, “I will love you forever 100 times.” Thank you, Sophia. Only a 5 year old girl knows how to love forever 100 times. Thank you to all of my friends for sharing your very special girls with me.